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Check out other recent installments! For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! I would prefer to not participate in any way.

Will this come across strangely?

For large weddings, a lot of people stayed in the seats in the name of moving the ceremony along faster. I, a rational person, kept trying to thinking about it logically. Classic navy blue sheath dress petite IVF and fertility treatments in general are rarely covered. I work in an icebox.

Should I sit as far to the back as possible. What do you mean by participate…?

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My understanding, having never been to a Catholic wedding, is that there is a lot of sitting, standing, kneeling etc.

I agree with this. I just feel like it kind of puts a pall over the event to have somebody who is quite clearly not on board with the whole concept.

And I say that as somebody who is not a believer myself but follows my own advice. As someone of a Muslim culture, I have been to synagogues where I would stand, sit etc.

For communion, you can remain in your seat. Is your date observant? No one, expect possibly a stuffy aunt or grandma, will expect you to participate by singing or taking communion, or kneeling for prayer.

But sitting when everyone else stands e.

For large weddings, a lot of people stayed in the seats in the name of moving the ceremony along faster. But, you can still show your respect and recognize that this is a meaningful ceremony for the couple.

The Deacon at my non-Catholic to a Catholic wedding confirmed my non-Catholic understanding that at least the fairly liberal church we got married at required you to be Catholic to take communion, which is why we opted not to have communion for our ceremony because I felt feel very strongly in an open table which is how my lutheran baptist united methodist upbringing has always handled it.

No no no, non-Catholics are not allowed to receive Communion in the Catholic Church. Lana Del Raygun has it right.

Non-Catholics are not supposed to take communion, period. You may either sit in your pew, kneel and pray, or come up with your arms crossed and receive a blessing.

It is just a matter of respect. And kindness. And … being a human being.

Another Muslim. I am having a Catholic wedding soon and have invited Jewish, Muslim, and atheist guests in addition to Catholics and Christians.

I invited people special to me and look forward to celebrating this day with them. There is likely to be a detailed program we created one, there is a standard form that will help you follow along with what is happening.

Sitting and standing are not statements of faith or acts of worship in and of themselves. You can certainly skip kneeling, praying, singing, etc, but if you sit the entire time you will probably come across as a grump.

Ok, thanks everyone.

25.01.2020 – What skin is it off your nose to stand to honor the bride as she walks down the aisle? Should I sit as far to the back as possible. I mean, I went to a Greek Orthodox wedding once — the whole thing was in Greek. And I am really glad no one was telling me my faith and tradition were weird and grumbling about it.

Out of curiosity, why would you grumble? What skin is it off your nose to stand to honor the bride as she walks down the aisle? My thought exactly.

However I have a bit of a hard time being super thrilled with the Catholic churches vew on women and the lack of female leadership not a uniquely Catholic problem.

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I know lots of people will disagree with this, but it is truly how I feel. Not trying to start an argument here. This seems pretty unkind and unyielding, and I somewhat think this comes from the privilege of not having had to accommodate different cultures.

Most every affiliation has its imperfections — we take from them what makes sense for us. You may identify as atheist, for example.

Im light of that, I can absolutely understand feeling defensive. I would too. As in, no one will suddenly think that you converted to X religion just because you did a bit of sitting and standing in unisson with a crowd who gathered to celebrate a bride and groom the way they the couple chose to be celebrated.

Gently… would you feel the same way if this were a Hindu ceremony? Even if you are from the same race, class, etc. I encourage you to look at this as an opportunity to enjoy a peek into her life and her culture that you have never seen.

Respectfully, yes I would feel the same way. If you really feel that even being present is disingenuous, skip the ceremony and go to the reception and wish the couple well there.

No one is taking a head count during the ceremony. It just feels like bad vibes to me and nobody needs that at their wedding.

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What is with your attitude?? Girl, please. If my faith led me to choose to be married in a house of worship for my denomination, I would be deeply hurt to know that you felt compelled to grumble about my traditions while ostensibly being there to support me.

But mark it as an opportunity to experience the ritual for what it is, versus something to complain your way through.

Someone went through the effort of picking out music and readings and writing a homily and all those other things.

I mean, I went to a Greek Orthodox wedding once — the whole thing was in Greek.

So at least your Catholic Mass is in English and not Latin anymore? Consider how rude that is to have a choice to stay or go and decide to go anyway only to grumble about it.

I was grateful so many could attend to celebrate with us, but I also understand there are some people that feel uncomfortable even being in a church.

No problem — we were not out to make anyone feel uncomfortable or force them to do anything they did not want to do.

And I am really glad no one was telling me my faith and tradition were weird and grumbling about it. I have attended weddings in all of these faiths and was glad to be included.

If you cannot step foot in a church, perhaps the most respectful gesture is to not attend the church service. Others may disagree but really a ton of people do it.

I think grumble was the wrong word.

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I will privately express to my date that I am not entirely comfortable with every aspect of the day. Thanks all! I know this might be hard for you to accept, but this wedding is not actually about you, your politics, or your self-image.

You should just not go to this. But I agree you need to participate respectfully or not go. Non-Jewish men who attended our wedding wore yarmulkes.

It would have been very disrespectful for someone to refuse. Late to this party but still mildy appalled at your line of questioning- enough to comment here.

We invited friends and family of all faith backgrounds, including atheists.

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One of my favorite moments of the day was looking back at the church filled with my absolute favorite people, who were all beaming back at me.

If someone had chosen to sulk and grumble in the back alone at my wedding, it would have been noticeable and upsetting- to me and to my parents and the bridal party.

There is a time and place to declare your principles- this is not it. Spend the time in your own way, meet them at the reception, and graciously allow them to be surrounded by people who respectfully and happily affirm their decision to marry in the Church.

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Do not take away this happy moment from the bride and groom. Let them bask in their love for each other and the love of their friends and family.

Or skip the ceremony if even that is too much. Kat that dress from Target is open across the lower back. Definitely not work appropriate unless you wear a blazer or a sweater all day.

Kat, I love these sheathe dresses. They are very stylish, but the sleeveless does NOT really work for me in the office. As for the OP, yes, I agree.